We all think about it. Some of us talk about it, dream about it. What am I talking about?
I’m talking about sex of course.
I think it’s fair to say most of us would be more than okay with a little extra fun and passion in the bedroom. Which brings me to my question for you: are you getting the most out of your sex life, or could it be even more pleasurable?
I want to introduce you to the person out there who can help make your sex life even better. The sex coach you didn’t know you needed. The person who can help make sex with your partner more comfortable, more pleasurable and more intense. The person who has all the resources you need to take your sex life to the next level.
As a Pelvic Health Physical Therapist I can help you have the best sex of your life and I want to tell you how.
1. I teach the best sex positions for you and your partner based on your physicality.
Early in my career one of my favorite moments as a physical therapist happened when one of my clients (who had just had hip surgery) contacted me to find out what positions she could enjoy and which she should avoid while having sex with her partner that evening. Her surgeon informed her as to what day to day activities to be careful of but never once mentioned sex. Moreover they didn’t have that close of a relationship, so she wasn’t about to ask!
Sex is what we physical therapists like to refer to as an activity of daily living. Sex is an activity everyone should be able enjoy as much as possible, regardless of circumstance, physical limitations or injuries.
While this may be a more extreme example, the truth is we all sometimes have some aches or pains that can make sex sound a little less appealing as it may lead to discomfort during or after the fact. Some of us may also experience pelvic floor dysfunctions such as prolapse or incontinence that can lead to feeling awkward or unsure between the sheets, or just plain less into it.
This is where I come in.
As a pelvic health physical therapist, I know all the tricks. If sex leads to a sore back in the week following foreplay we can show you the best positions. In some cases, it is as simple as using your hands and not your elbows to support yourself while in the throws of passion. For example, if you’re someone who feels discomfort or pain in your back when you sit too long, one of the best sex positions for you is on all fours resting on your hands. Adopting this same position but resting on your elbows? This is actually one of the worst positions for you, along with – believe it or not – the missionary position. In contrast, if you’re someone that doesn’t enjoy lying on your stomach because of discomfort, the missionary position with your knees and hips bent up one of the better positions for you.
Together with my patients who experience discomfort during sex, we find the best sex position so you don’t have to worry about anything other than enjoying yourself.
2. You shouldn’t have pain or discomfort with penetrative sex.
Want a crazy stat? Nearly 1 in 10 women experience pain with penetrative sex (known as dyspareunia) with a quarter of these women experiencing this pain often. Women between the ages of 16-24 are the second largest group of women to experience this type of pain. Though some women assume it is because they partner is “too big” the truth is that that is rarely, if ever the case.
There are a number of reasons that penetrative sex might hurt you, but a common one comes down to the muscles of the pelvic floor being overactive, tight, or in spasm. The muscles of the pelvic floor, like all muscles, are meant to contract and relax throughout the day. For a lot of women who have pain with sex, those muscles cannot fully relax and instead are in a constant state of contraction. This leads to difficulty and pain for these muscles during penetration. This also leads to a more complex psychological pain cycle where after penetration has been painful our brain recalls this feeling and then resists it in the future because of the painful memory.
The good news is there is so much we can do to both relax overactive pelvic floor muscles and change this pain cycle! Our goal is not only to make your sex life pain-free, but to also make it as enjoyable as possible!
3. You can experience more intense and longer lasting orgasms (yes it IS possible).
I love my job. How many other health professionals can say that their female clients come to them so happy (sometimes with tears of joy) because their orgasms are getting more pleasurable and intense because of the right treatment, coaching and advice?
Yes – you heard that right. Part of my job includes helping women have more powerful orgasms. I’m confident that I’m correct in assuming that most women would be “ok” with experiencing more powerful orgasms. Research shows that working with a professional coupled with a pelvic floor exercise plan, improves the support function of the pelvic floor, increases blood flow, and stimulates the awareness (or proprioception) of our pelvic floor. Better functioning, stronger, pelvic floor muscles, contribute to increased sexual desire, performance, and both achievement and intensity of orgasm.
Plus, the improved proprioception and awareness of our pelvic does more than just improve our physical experience during sex. It also, quite simply makes us feel sexier. Trust me, when you feel your pelvic floor muscles functioning better and feeling sexy, you are more likely to experience mind blowing sex compared to if you’re feeling less confident in your pelvic floor.
4. I have all of the best resources and want to share them with you.
There is one more way I can help you spice up your sex life. I know where all of the coolest resources are regarding sex.
Strange but true fact: I am on a first name basis with the adult stores in town, know some amazing therapists (who can also play a huge role in improving your sex life), and I can guide you on additional strategies to up your sex game even more.
As an example, have you heard of OMGyes yet? This is an game-changing resource I direct many of my clients to. An easy, self-directed platform that teaches you how to find even more pleasure in your life – whether you are going solo or with a partner.
To sum things up: If you have any questions about any pain (back, hip, pelvic floor) while you’re having sex, if you’re unsure if your orgasms are as good as they could be, or you need some help finding new and awesome resources to spice up your sex life then find a pelvic health physio and lets see if we can make this activity of daily living even better for you!!